


Even when I doubt you (I'm no good without you)

by Just_Juliette



Series: Cause you live in shades of cool, your heart is unbreakable [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26291596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Juliette/pseuds/Just_Juliette
Summary: Jenson and Nico are in a very happy relationship, but Nico is still hurt because of the way things ended with Lewis and Sebastian.After reading a regretful letter that Nico never sent, Jenn decides to invite the couple to see if the three men can get their problems solved.
Relationships: Jenson Button/Nico Rosberg, Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Series: Cause you live in shades of cool, your heart is unbreakable [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869658
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Even when I doubt you (I'm no good without you)

**Author's Note:**

> hey there,  
> here I am to finish this beautiful trilogy. That means it's necesary to have read the previous works.  
> Enjoy!

When Jenson woke up, Nico was still sleeping next to him. The British man took advantage of the situation to make a nice gesture with his current partner on his birthday.

He and the German started a relationship four months ago, and they had been living together for two. Jenson couldn't have been happier.

From the moment he found out from Lewis that Nico was available again he didn't want to get his hopes up, but he couldn't help it. Then he began to approach his subtly, being welcomed.

By the time he realized it, Nico had become a central part of his daily life. They did almost everything together, as they enjoyed each other’s company.

However, especially on days like that, he wondered why he hadn't introduced him, or gone out with any friends.

At first, he thought that perhaps his social relationships were affected by his separation from Lewis. But after Nico left on a business trip two weeks ago, he found a letter among his things. It was dated the same day and had not been sent.

Curiosity got the better of him and he began to read it.

  
_Dear Lewis and Sebastian:_

_I know you asked me not to write to you again... But I felt it was necessary and I think it is the best way for me to express myself._

_Forgive me. Both of you._ _What I did was reckless, malicious and immature._

_The truth is that you were both right in everything you told me. And you made me realize that I didn't stop being friends with either of you, but I stopped being yours._ _First leaving Sebastian aside, and then taking out my frustration on you Lewis. Not to mention my pathetic attempt to make you feel bad for walking away from me when I only did my best to hurt you._

_Sebby, you were my only friend too. Or at least the most real one, that shouldn't change just because you are now in a relationship with Lewis. I want you to know that I will be happy just to have you in my life again, as friends, acquaintances or whatever. Please._

_And Lew, my debt to you is eternal. I owe you everything._

_I'm sorry for not being the person you deserved, for not telling you the truth, for not expressing my feelings. I did love you, and very much so. I know you won't believe me, and you have every reason not to, but I've always had a lot of appreciation and admiration._

_Especially after helping me with Jenson._

_I can't find enough words to thank you for that. It was a gesture I will never forget. Neither will Jenn._

_As you both told me, wounds heal. And that's in large part thanks to you, for opening my eyes and making me realize that my happiness was in my own hands, and today I embrace and receive it, materialized in the fantastic and handsome man who sleeps by my side today; who was always there but who I could not see._

  
_I know I wrote sorry too many times, but I wanted to make it clear. I hope you both understand not only my regret, but the real message is that I am ready. I know you will understand._

It was then that he understood that Lewis had nothing to do with it. Nico had isolated himself from his old life, tormented by his mistakes.

Of course he didn't justify what he did, but the regret he showed was such, that it reflected how much Nico had overcome that situation, as well as the good time they were having as a couple.

Since he didn't know what to do at that moment, he left the letter in its place and didn't say anything about it. But the truth is that Nico never sent that letter, and that made him sad, because he was sure that if he met Lewis and Sebastian again and they chatted in person, the three of them could finally leave everything behind and Nico would be happier and at peace with himself.

Back to reality, he finished preparing breakfast and headed to the bedroom. He poked his face through the door and noticed that his man was awake, yawning lazily.

—Did I told you how beautiful you look when you wake up? – Said. The other guy giggled and rubbed his eyes.

—Good morning.

The British man smiled and approached Nico with the tray.

—Happy birthday, darling.

—Thank you Jenn. -He thanked him with a kiss and made room for him in the bed. —You are such a sweetheart.

—What do you want to do today? Shall we celebrate?

—Today is Wednesday. Let's leave it for the weekend, shall we? You could do a barbecue.

—Sure. For how many guests? -Nico shrugged his shoulders and smiled sideways.

—Which guests? My parents aren't coming... and it's not like I can invite Lewis. We could tell some of your friends, though. I get on well with Sergio... -Jenson took the opportunity and asked.

—Why couldn't we invite Lewis?

—He won't want to come. You know, he and I didn't end up very well. I practically threw him out of here. We haven't spoken since then and... I don't know. It would be weird to invite him.

—Well... I think that if you want him to come, it's worth a try. I'll call him, shall I? I'll tell him that we’re having a barbecue for your birthday and that he and Sebastian can come.

—Lewis is a vegan, he will never come if you tell him there is meat... Wait. How did you know Lewis' partner's name is Sebastian? I never told you. -Jenson sighed and thought it was best to tell him.

—I read a letter you wrote to them. -Nico opened his eyes wide and blushed.

—You must think I'm a resentful jerk.

—Of course not, honey. We all make mistakes; we all sometimes feel resentment for someone who doesn't love us back. I even found myself wanting to push Lewis downstairs every time I saw him with you...-Nico almost spits out his coffee out of laughter. —The point is, you both came through it and I think it's time to see each other again and maybe be friends again. Send that letter!

—I can't, Jenn. Not after the way things turned out. Even if they forgave me, it just wouldn't work... Can you imagine me and Lewis being friends? —The Englishman thought so.

—Of course, it's not like I'm dying for you to get back together with your ex…. But what about Sebastian? I can tell that you care about him. -Nico looked down and seemed to hesitate. —So… Let's finish breakfast and go for a walk. Okay?

He gave him a little kiss and left the room, but with a decision already made.

  
*******

  
Sebastian was arranging his garden to distract his mind. He knew that today was his old friend's birthday, but he wasn't determined enough to write or call him. Besides, they never heard from him again after the letters he had sent with Lewis. I didn't know if he was angry, if things had improved or even if he was still in England.

Then Lewis appeared from the house' insides to meet him.

—Hey Seb, I need to discuss something with you. It's about Nico.

—What about Nico, love?

—Well, it's his birthday today, you know. -Sebastian nodded. —The thing is, Jenson called me. Telling me he was going to have an outdoor barbecue this Sunday to celebrate and he invited us.

—Wait a second... Who is Jenson? -Lewis smiled, remembering what he had done a few months ago.

—Jenson is a boy who lives in the building where I used to live with Nico. I think he does maintenance there. The thing is, he was always drooling over Nico and now it seems like they're dating.

—Oh, that's lovely!

—The thing is... I'm not really sure I'm going to accept the invitation.

—Is it because they're going to cook meat? Don't worry, we can bring sandwiches and salad...

—Seb! -They both laughed out loud.He cleared his throat and continued.

—Do you think you're ready?

—I'm not afraid of him, I know him well enough. I'm afraid for you, I don't want him to hurt you.

—Oh, come on, Lewis. I'm not going to let him piss me, it's not the same as when we were young. It's just that... I think everyone deserves one last chance. I want to give it to him.

Lewis seemed to think about it too much, but gave in to Sebastian’s puppy eyes.

—I don't agree, Sebby. He's had too many chances already, but... I guess there's nothing to lose by trying. But as soon as I say one comment out of turn, we're out of there. And we'll burn every letter that shows up.

He finally said, and then opened his arms to receive a blond man who threw himself at him.

—I love it when you make mature decisions.

—And I love you.

  
*******

  
Nico went up to the building's terrace, which was beautifully decorated. Jenson had asked him to wait for him there while he went to get his present. The blond man peered out to enjoy the view, trying to guess what could be Jenson’s gift, until he heard footsteps behind his back, so he turned around... and almost fell over.

It wasn't his boyfriend. It was his ex boyfriend, accompanied by his current partner who was also his old childhood friend.

His mind went blank for a moment; he didn't know how to react.

—Hey Nico!

—Happy birthday!

Said the two simultaneously.

—You? H-How?

Seb kept smiling since he came in, but he noticed that Lewis was a little suspicious, so he hit him with his elbow discreetly.

—Aren't you happy to see us? -asked the Brit.

—It's not that, it's just the shock. I think.

—If we make you uncomfortable we can leave. We just wanted to come to fix our stuff.

—You're being rude, Lewis.-meant his mate. But Nico dismissed it.

—It’s okay Seb, he's entitled. You both have the right to be angry with me.

—Are you truly sorry?

—Uh, I... -Nico was a little intimidated by his ex's intense gaze upon him.

—If it's true, apologize.

—Hey, what the hell!? -Jenson said as he walked in, putting his arms around Nico. — If I brought you here was to make amends, not to question him. Who do you think you are!?

—Jenn, you invited them? - said Nico turning around to look him in the eye.

— Wait... He didn't know? - asked Seb, somewhat confused.

—Of course not. It was supposed to be a nice reunion. A surprise. But now I see that bringing you was a mistake.

—I didn't tell Jenn about what happened, or about the letters. I guess I should have told you that they didn't want to see me again. I was just afraid that you would leave me after knowing how messed up I was.- Nico explained. Jenson stopped looking at Lewis and wrapped the German in his arms.

—What you have done with them would never affect my perception of you, it is something you must resolve between yourselves. I only see a charming man who learned from his mistakes and is an excellent boyfriend. -he said, kissing his cheek. And then he turned to Sebastian and Lewis. —And two other people who had not yet done so. Forgiveness heals the soul, you know? Try it.

The brunette was really touched, and liked to see the two blondes so happy, but he wasn't going to let Jenson make him and his boyfriend look like the bad guys in the story either.

—Hey, I understand, and of course I would forgive him. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. But he never apologized, and I was afraid this was just another bad trick. I'm sorry if I was too defensive with you, Nico.

—I'm sorry, too. But just one thing... If you didn't tell him what had happened, how did he know about our conflict?- wondered Sebastian, still without understanding.

—I wrote a second letter, which I never sent because I didn't want to make things worse. Jenn found it and that’s how he knew.

—Why don't we give it to them now?- Nico was surprised and blushed a little at the idea of his boyfriend.

—I'd like to read it! Please. -Sebastian begged. Nico then nodded and found Jenson taking the paper out of his pocket.

—I can't believe you have it with you. - he said, taking it and giving it to Lewis, who approached Seb to start reading it.

—It was all part of my masterplan, baby. Now, you must tell me whether or not you are staying to celebrate your friend's birthday. I need to know how much food to put on the grill.

The couple kept silent for a few seconds, finishing reading the letter, but then the blond man displayed a wide, bright smile offering his hand to shake. Nico took it, and as soon as he did, Sebastian drew him into his suffocating and liberating embrace.

—It's great to have you back, blondie. We missed you like you have no idea. -he said in soft German, before releasing him, though not completely. their hands were still together. —Let's not separate again, shall we?

The elder German was emotional, his eyes shining and containing the tears. Then he turned to Lewis, as if to agree that everything would be fine. Lewis came closer and separated his hand from his boyfriend's... and then he held him tightly.

—Friends? - he said, looking at him without rancor, as he used to be before everything.

—Friends. - he confirmed.

—Hallelujah!

Jenson shouted from across the terrace next to the grill. He made a dramatic gesture and wiped away fake tears. Nico couldn't help but run over to where he was standing and kiss him tenderly.

—You are the best.

—I know, baby. Now... Lewis! Get that fake meat here!

—Your dyed hair is the only fake thing here, Jenson!

—Don't you dare talking about my hair, Hamilton! At least I wash my hair!

—Are you saying mine's dirty?- asked and indignant Lewis, caressing his brides.

—If the shoe fits...

—Fuck you!

Both he and Sebastian laughed at the vegan's notorious annoyance, and then looked at each other with complicity. They knew those jokes would last all day long.

But that's exactly the way things used to be, and the best things never change.


End file.
